


In His Touch

by landy67



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, discord this ones for u, shit man idk im emo, turn week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25040374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landy67/pseuds/landy67
Summary: The thoughts become too much some times.But he is enough.A fleeting glimpse into the war because the battle is not only between man and man, but sometimes it comes to collect from our own selves.
Relationships: Caleb Brewster/Benjamin Tallmadge
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	In His Touch

He wakes with a start, heart pounding and sweat clinging to his brow. The stifling summer humidity bears down on his mouth, his throat, his chest and Ben is suffocating under its oppressive weight.

The forest floor falls away and he’s trapped in the memories of war. Muskets fire in his ears and they echo, ringing and crying out as they meet their targets. The thud of warm bodies, robbed of their lives and the breath in their lungs. Glassy eyes facing the stars one last time. Sons never seeing mothers again. Husbands never kissing wives hello once more. The acrid taste of bitter smoke taints his tongue and his mind and disorients him. Which way is up? Which way is down?

The warmth slips away for a second and then a hand touches his cheek. It’s rough and calloused but it’s the most comforting thing he’s ever felt. The simple action grounds him because he knows whose hand that is. But there’s a part of him that’s scared to open his eyes and find that his mind was lying to him. So he screws his eyes shut and leans into the touch and into his safety. The familiar touch burns against his skin in the best way possible and he lets out a soft groan at the touch.

“Shh, you’re alright. I gotcha.”

He feels pathetic, clinging to this physical sense of hope. The war is stretching on and nothing is going right except  _ this.  _ He doesn’t know what to call it except longing touches and tender kisses in the privacy of his tent. The relief on faces after rescues and close calls. The unspoken agreements before battles.  _ I’ll come home to you. I’ll fight to my very last dying breath. For Washington and glory. For freedom and you. _

Ben would never admit it out loud but he worries when his eyes aren’t fixed on his love. Everytime they’re apart, he paces and plans and focuses his mind on the ring, on the war, on battles fought in and out of Congress. He devotes his time to serving Washington when all he can think of is serving another figure that is so dearly beloved and kept close to his chest. Some officers had tokens of their sweethearts, yet Ben just had letters of troop movements in New York to recall the love he felt so deeply for his love.

He had read of Patroclus and Achilles but the details turned fuzzy with the taste of Madeira on his lips, in his throat, consuming his heart. Is this love? How can he be sure when war seems to be the one place love cannot exist. Yet Helen’s beauty launched a thousand ships. 

Benjamin Tallmadge only cared about one ship.

“Caleb,” he whispered into the night. “I…”

“I know,” he responded. That twinkle in his eyes seemed dimmer now as the war dragged on but he still kept that teasing grin playing on his lips. Ben surged forward and stole a kiss from those lips. He welcomed the familiar scratch of a beard against his skin.

_ I love you. _

_ I know. _

An unspoken understanding surrounding unspoken words. He settled back down on his pack, curving his hand around Caleb’s calloused palm. He shut his eyes once more and pushed the war out of his mind and thought of the good days.

But can there truly be good days after the hell they lived in?

He steals a glance at the man beside him.  _ Of course there can. Because he is still good. _

**Author's Note:**

> turn week day 5: fave relationship
> 
> *insert jamie lee curtis meme* THEY WERE IN LOVE
> 
> rat kings, this one's for you  
> in all love and rat blast,  
> bee


End file.
